Time to breath out and reflect.

Well folks, that was a pretty whirlwind month. The first thing I would like to do is thank all who took the time to give us a vote or to just engage in the political process.

Not something we were expecting or prepared for but as always we met the challenge head on. We are a two man operation, Pearse and myself, so it meant a lot of late nights and even earlier mornings. Of course we would of liked to increase our overall vote share but we are still happy with the outcome.

During this election campaign, unlike the last one, we were invited to take part in a number of hustings and share a platform with all the major parties. It gave us a chance to put our proposals on the legalization of cannabis to a much wider and more diverse audience. From Youth Councils to Trade Unions and even the Chamber of Commerce. To us, this is a real step forward and in the right direction.

The real positive that has come out of this election is the removal of the petition of concern from any single party’s hands. That was what denied real progress to society. I envision real change happening to move us closer to a fully integrated future for all. That can only be a good thing for everybody.

Now, time to take a deep breath and back into the real world. Again, thank you all for engaging and voting in record numbers and hopefully no more elections for a while.

Later alligators.

Emmet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tony Blair Stole My Posters.

That’s the claim made by Newry and Armagh Cista election candidate, Emmet Crossan.

We decided to get in touch with Emmet this morning to see what basis he had to make such a wild accusation. After a few hours of trying, we finally were able to wake him out of his slumber just after lunchtime. “What makes you think it was Tony Blair that stole your election posters?” we asked the laidback wannabe politician.

 “At first we just assumed it was the usual ballbags an’ bigots that had taken’ down our posters to adorn their bonfires in July. Nothin’ new there, we thought. But the next day Tony “The Warmonger” Blair was all over the telly with somethin’ very familiar an’ recognisable to us.”

“So Tony turned up on national TV with one of your posters?” we asked.

“Not exactly, Tony’s much too cunning to do somethin’ so blatant. It was our election slogan “Rise Up” that he was spouting to the assembled media an’ anybody else that would listen. We couldn’t believe our ears. The day after our posters went missin’ and our election slogan was heard coming out of the mouth of a man who never had an original thought in his life, we just put two and two together and came up with the only an’ obvious answer, “Tony fuckin’ Blair stole our posters.”

Well when it’s put like that, we would have to agree with the Lemmester. It does seem the most obvious conclusion to draw. Tony Blair definitely did steal his posters. The PSNI have been informed and we shall wait to see when charges will be filled. We’ll keep you updated.

Somethin’ old, Somethin’ new.

Somethin’ old,

Somethin’ new.

Somethin’ borrowed,

Somethin’ blue.

Out ‘n’ about, and flat out, all weekend.

Over the hills, in the sleet and the snow,

And along by the Bann, in the driving rain.

But that’s it all done, all the posters are up.

Thank fuck.

How long will they last this time?

Just a bit of a quick up date from the frontlines. Collected our new posters earlier with new leaflets to follow on Monday. Happy days, all lookin’ good. Up early in the mornin’ to go and plant a few trees for A Million Trees In A Day, back home to watch the rugby and then out to get the place plastered with my gappy head.

If you see me about your town don’t be afraid to come up and say hello.

And if you’re not registered to vote, get your finger out ’cause there’s only a few days to go. Valentine’s Day.

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What’s in a name?

“So why the name change?” I hear you ask.

No big deal, or so we thought. Not only was there a bit of a purge on the citizens thrown of the electoral register but it seemed we were also now not on the list of registered political parties. Still, no bother. Just a matter of getting onto the people that look after these sorts of problems.

As we were going to be re-registering again anyhow, we decided to drop the Cannabis Is Safer Than Alcohol part of the name and just go for Cista. Again, still no bother. All relevant forms were filled out and submitted along with our registration fee.

Happy days. Now we could get our election packs for all our candidates and get them registered.

But no. Computer says no. “Cista is not a real word so therefore we can’t accept it as a name for a political party. Tell us by 1pm tomorrow what Cista stands for or else we can’t register you.”

Even though we knew Cista was a real word, albeit a latin word meaning,

1. a wooden box or basket, often woven of slips or twigs, used for keeping money, clothes, books, fruit

2. In mystical religious festivals, a box for holding the sacred utensils

3. A box for depositing the votes in assemblies of the people

We decided not to push the point and run the risk of them not allowing us to register as a political party and therefore not being able to stand in the upcoming assembly election on 2nd March. Not a risk we are willing to take as alternative voices are hard enough to get out there and get heard.

So, thats what we came up with. And thats what we’re going to be going with. Hope yous all like it and if not, just call us Cista as before. Now onto the next stage in the process and get our candidates registered.

Remember now folks to check that you’re registered to vote and if you aren’t or know of somebody that isn’t, yous have until 14th February to get it sorted. With your help we have a real chance of creating real upsets to the political establishment and the stranglehold they have on the ordinary citizens of this state.

Ries Up And Make Yourself Well.

Vote Cista #1 on 2nd March.

BALLBAGS AN’ BIGOTS

Blah, blah women
Blah, blah abortion
Blah, blah partition
Blah, blah fuckin’ blah, blah

Ballbags an’ Bigots
Drivin’ their luxury cars
Ballbags an’ Bigots
It’s their way not ours

Blah, blah muslims
Blah, blah terrorism
Blah, blah immigration
Blah, blah fuckin’ blah, blah

Blah, blah the Rising
Blah, blah the Boyne
Blah, blah parades
Blah, blah fuckin’ blah, blah

Ballbags an’ Bigots
Secure in their seats
Ballbags an’ Bigots
While we die on the streets

Ballbags an’ Bigots
It’s time for a change
Ballbags an’ Bigots
Do you feel the same?

Are You Lookin’ At Me, Are You Lookin’ For Trouble? Well I’m Yerr Man.

Are you fed up with the people who are elected to represent us doing the exact opposite? Well you’re not alone. There is a growing discontent amongst the ordinary working class citizens of this part of our island that their voices are not been listened to. And they are right, we aren’t. Public opinion shows clearly that most people, especially the younger generation are ready to move on from the conflict of the past to a brighter and more progressive future. But we are being held back by the prejudices of the past.

So is there anything we can do about this? The answer is yes. If you were one of the 1000+ people that voted for me in the last election your voice is being heard. Because you took the time to go out and vote, the powers that be have sat up and taken notice and now cannabis legalisation is an issue that they have to start dealing with. It’s not going away and neither am I. That was round one.

This now is round two. This is our chance to come out stronger and louder than before on the issues that matter to you. We won’t be silenced or beaten. If you aren’t registered to vote, get it sorted as soon as possible. If you are, encourage all your family and friends to do the same. This is the only way we can rid Stormont of incompetence and corruption. Vote it out and vote in someone that will speak for you. Your voices have lay dormant for too long.

Time to Rise Up And Make Yourself Well.

Later alligators.

Emmet.